Aleph speaks with Rebekah P., following her recent promotion to the highest rank in the United States Military: Army Wife.
How did you meet your husband?
We met at a Shabbat lunch hosted by a mutual friend of ours (a member of a different service whom my husband met through Aleph), but didn’t speak much outside of group hangouts. At a different Shabbat meal about six months later, our friend turned to me and said, “Becky, we need to marry you off,” which is when my husband realized I was single. We started talking more one-on-one, and our first date was two weeks after that. Needless to say, it went really well. Our friend proudly declared himself the shadchan.
How has your husband’s military service impacted your relationship?
Shortly after we started dating, he deployed for several months. I had done online dating before, so a long-distance relationship wasn’t totally foreign to me. It was less than ideal, but I wasn’t about to drop everything at the first sign of difficulty. I knew he was in the service when we started dating and that there was a chance something like this would eventually happen.; I just didn’t expect it to be so soon. It was kind of a trial run for what could happen in the future, and I feel like we came out of it even stronger than we would have if he hadn’t deployed. Now we knew that we could handle this type of challenge. Being married now and having him back stateside, the surprising thing to me is that it hasn’t yet had a major impact on our day-to-day lives. The situation for each military couple is different, but my husband and I have found a way to live in a Jewish community and have a normal life, for now at least.
How did he propose?
When he came home from his most recent deployment, after multiple flight delays, I met him at the airport along with a couple of our closest friends and my husband’s brother and niece. He showed up at the baggage claim in uniform, and after greeting everyone, he told me he had something to say and that it couldn’t wait. He then proceeded to give me a detailed list of all his personal flaws, and after what felt like forever, got down one knee and asked me to marry him. It was like a scene out of a movie: A little cliché, but it was perfect.
Tell us about the wedding!
It was a blur. I’m still processing it! Probably the most fun I’ve ever had in one day. I’m not one of those women who had been planning a specific dream wedding since childhood, but our friends helped make it into a truly special event. One friend hired a DJ for us after he asked us our plans and we had told him our wedding DJ would be an ipod set to shuffle. Two of my friends jumped in and assumed the roles of event coordinator and planner a couple of weeks before the wedding. My husband’s best man/shomer, who had introduced us, hired photographer Yisroel Teitelbaum (@Jewish.Giant) to document our special day. An Air Force Honor Guard at my husband’s base lent us swords to do a saber arch. Many of his battle buddies, past and present, came to the wedding in uniform. Both communities, Jewish and military, made it a really beautiful and unique simcha.
What was your favorite part of the wedding itself?
I think the most stand-out thing was the saber arch. The saber arch was really cool. I never thought I would have something like that at my wedding. My other favorite part was the impromptu afterparty we had. It was originally intended to be the second round of dancing after dinner, but by then a lot of the guests had left, so it was mostly just close friends and family.
Any advice for ladies considering a shidduch with a Jewish-American service member?
I’m kind of new to this, so I’m not really sure if I’m in a position to be giving advice on that topic yet. I will say that with any relationship, things are not always going to be perfect. When your spouse is in the military, you’re more aware of some of the likely challenges up front. But nothing in life is guaranteed, so why say no if you find the right one? That said, you should know what you’re getting into, and keep an open mind as to where you might end up!
Originally published in the Shavous/Three Weeks 2024 issue of The Jewish American Warrior.
